Looking for the "One?" You Shouldn't!

One of the most persistent and mindless viewpoints held by otherwise intelligent individuals is the notion of the “One.” It is based upon a wholly unsupported premise that among the planet’s 7+ BILLION humans there is but a single person with whom one can have lasting joy and happiness. This utterly baseless viewpoint destroys far more relationships than real problems (e.g. physical abuse, insanity, mental incompetence, etc…). Despite their sappiness, Western “romance” novels did not give birth to this nonsensical belief (even granting they help perpetuate it). Prior to “civilization” the concept not only didn’t exist, it couldn’t. In our not too distant pass males were not as common as females. Females were accurately viewed as the true keepers of our species while Monogamy was born of religion (and no place more than Western religion).

In fact, human society began with extended families which grew slowly. As they grew, the physical traits of males became important to these early communities since things such as fresh water and food were not usually plentiful. Competition with other communities had much to do with the “roles” of the sexes. Males typically searched for animals to augment the vegetables and fruits accumulated by children and females. Males also defended the community (and its food and water stores) from other communities. The net result of this was that, in general, there were more females than males. Accordingly, not only were there no “soulmates,” there could not have been for the species to survive and flourish.

Enter “Religion” and the dawn of goal driven morality. Religions required strict adherence to fabricated rules else there would be a great price to pay by the sinful and unfaithful. Given humans’ propensity for seeking assurances of survival (and the accumulation of “stuff” as the best means of doing that) early Religions began factoring material wealth into their measure of holiness. In fact, early religions viewed the impoverished and ill as proof of some deity’s displeasure with the victims. Conversely, great wealth was viewed as proof of one’s piety. Religion, therefore, was a meaningful factor in the rewarding of Greed.

Twisted morals and greed then became the food and water of religions. This unholy union also was used to assess the value of humans in general and unbelievers in particular. Unbelievers were not only cursed, they were most certainly NOT considered fully human. The fruits of this volitional insanity included viewing “others” as potential (or actual) property, creating protectors of wealth (the genesis of policing and armies as we know them today) and making wealth the only (or easiest) way to ensure survival (as opposed to uniting communities). In turn, “monogamy” became a requirement for preserving wealth. Women who bought into this notion were typically rewarded by becoming the beneficiaries of monogamy (presuming, of course, their fidelity to marriage). In fact, monogamy turned women into possessions just as slavery did for others. If you’d like “proof” of this you only need take an honest look at how society views “unfaithful” men (boys will be boys) versus unfaithful women.

How does the foregoing result in the fiction of the “One?” Quite simply, it allows religions to control their flocks (an almost too accurate description). In one of the largest groups of religions existing in the 21st century, women are taught to treat their bodies (and corresponding virginity) as a THING to be shared with a man but ONLY the right man. While there are subgroups that assert men should do the same they are not the norm. By convincing women their ultimate worth is based upon treating their bodies as property, both the notion and reality of the One become an extremely important element of piety. If a woman can’t find the one it’s because she hasn’t earned that discovery.

What then should seekers of the One do in their quest for happiness? First, keep in mind that genuine and lasting happiness begins and ends within. Beyond that, the simple truth is that the ONLY One who matters, is the one in the mirror. If you feel a need to seek the One, first understand that it’s YOU. Buen camino!